Some days you think we would have reached peak beardedness by now, but then comes Christmas and suddenly you see beard baubles all over the social media and dozens of pictures from men with bushy whiskers having lights and ornaments attached to them.
Is it just another “beard hipster” trend, or are beard ornaments here to stay? My analysis suggests that they are a permanent thing – every Christmas – that is.
Just take a look at Google Trends for the query: “Christmas Beard”:
Ever since 2014 – when the beard Christmas ornaments really became a thing -, stories on big websites have mentioned them, such as the Mashable’s “Ho-ho-hohair: The 12 Beards of Christmas” article and The New York Post with their piece called “Beards: So sexually attractive they can get lit for the holidays“.
So how can you make your facial hair ready for Christmas? Continue reading below to find out. ↓
Best Beard Baubles
I thought I had seen it all, and then I saw beard baubles.
Yes, they are exactly what you think they are.
Small decorative Christmas balls, that instead of hanging them by the tree, as normal people do, you attach them to your facial hair.
So if your goal is to become the living Christmas tree, you can definitely do that, provided that you have a beard. Simply get yourself a box of beard baubles from Amazon, and clip them on.
The beard bauble box from a special beard ornament company called “Beardaments” (yes, you can have a beard ornament business nowadays), comes with 12 baubles that can be easily attached to your whiskers with mini crocodile clips.
The pack includes four festive colors;
- And silver.
Another good beard bauble option is the set from DecoTiny. Their marketing edge is to include a whopping 16 baubles in their box, with four of them being jingle bells with actual sound, so you are not only looking like a Christmas tree, but you can also sound like one.
Whatever you say about beard baubles, they are here to stay. So your only option is to co-exist with this – yet another – hipster generated beard menace.
Best Beard Lights
If baubles aren’t enough, there’s also another option; the beard Christmas lights.
And I’m not talking about setting up an actual Christmas tree light setup to your beard (connected to an electric socket) like the fellow on the above image has chosen to do.
Instead, I’m talking about specific – battery-powered – beard lights. Something like this brand, which sells a box containing 18 nano LED lights with small crocodile clips for attachment.
The multi-colored LEDs are attached to a 90cm (35″) wire, and get this; you can even make them flash.
With the amount of Christmas facial hair ornaments available, you could basically decorate yourself, toss the tree out, and stand the whole month in the corner.
Maybe that was the original idea of those beard hipsters the media is warning us about all the time. Perhaps they want us to out of their way, so they can get all the Christmas Kraft beers for themselves.
Up for another article? In the spirit of Christmas, Check out our guide to best beard gifts.
Also note: If you decorate your face with beard lights, make sure to not spill any drinks on your mane. Water and electricity on your facial hair isn’t a match made in heaven.